I’ve been gone long enough to not recognise this as my space. Good or bad ? I dont know….I should’ve written more often; more for myself than anybody else. But then again, life has been absolutely crazy ( in a bad way ) and all I could think of was how not lose it. Its amazing that the thought of dying is so comforting in times when you probably want to live the most.
The gist of the past three months being…I gave & spent my money on people I thought could be trusted with it. In return, my mother threw me out of the house overnight. I was on the streets in a jiffy! My ex -boyfriend who was supposedly my best friend, refused to give me back my cash and absconded leaving me stranded in a strange city where I knew not a single soul. I spent nights & days at random colleagues place and my ex-bfs’ best friend took me in and looked out for me. Absolute strangers stepped up and were kind. I spent many mornings in the office crying my heart out cos I was plain petrified and lost. I almost went back to France. My family, which includes my dear sister and brother, refused to stand up for me and ask my step mother to do the right thing. I had oats for breakfast , one meal a day( colleagues all bringing extra food to feed me) and lived on maggie noodles & watermelon for that a month and half. Even after I moved into my place I didn’t have the money to buy my gas!
Finally at the end of a 38 days, I found a cozy little 1 BHK which instantly felt like home. My boss lent me money for the deposit in a jiffy!My best friend transferred money so that I would not have to live off fruits!My wuss sisters dear husband called me up almost every single day to check in on me! I have moved in, had my house warming party and finally I have a place that I am proud of going back to every single day! I am proud to have people over cos …well, cos I have damned good taste and it has turned out very very neat! 
It is in a posh area, on the second floor , faces a park and has a terrace that one can only go up!
Dear friends have moved away from the city …I don’t know people here except for my colleagues and in my head, I feel quite lost. However, I am very proud that I am making it…by myself! I yet feel a little horrified at parts of last year when I moved to the country to be with the ‘presumed’ love of my life and we ended up living in a horrible little hole of a place! *SHUDDER* I wish he could come to my place now and see just HOW much I fell below my own standards for him and how much toll it took on me! I am a fancy woman and well….I deserve it!
Here’s to being a single woman in a new city…here’s to resilience of the spirit…here’s to the phone call that never came…here’s to the sister & piece of my heart who is no longer a part of life…here’s to the love that was never real…here’s to the happily ever after I might never find…here’s to all the people who stood by me, especially ones who barely knew me….here’s to me trying-once again to find the words in my life, here’s to the happiness that I believe will come to me in unconventional ways when I least expect it… here’s to destiny and the hope that all will be fine after all…
Thought I’ll go out and go for a walk. A real long walk it turning out to be! : )
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